He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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