Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
