I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
