DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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