Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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