I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
