dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
