I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
