how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
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