In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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