At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
