flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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