i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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