Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
