Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
