If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
