There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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