My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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