I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
