Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
