I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.