he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
