I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year