Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.