I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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