found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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