People in love make me want to vomit
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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