I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
