True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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