come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Pants are for mortals
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
