So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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