So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
