we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
