Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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