Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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