She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
