I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
