As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
