I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
