is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
