escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
