I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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