Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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