he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
