Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
