I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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