Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
