How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
