you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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