Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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