you're like a bully in the Christmas story
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
