What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
