called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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