I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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