my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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