Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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