Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number... http://tfl.nu/4ee1
  Replies (10) Good night (2337) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

  (352): View more from Florida

  WHAT?!

  (407): View more from Florida

  He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch. (352): WHAT?! (407): He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/9qqv
  Replies (6) Good night (864) Bad night (2541)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Yes, it's true. 4 fingers. http://tfl.nu/fqre
  Replies (31) Good night (3598) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/dkfu
  Replies (15) Good night (3897) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/wlva
  Replies (19) Good night (1286) Bad night (5762)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg http://tfl.nu/cjr9
  Replies (65) Good night (18883) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/8hnp
  Replies (29) Good night (7097) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome. http://tfl.nu/qq5z
  Replies (8) Good night (4476) Bad night (1972)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name? http://tfl.nu/qxdg
  Replies (3) Good night (2943) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy? http://tfl.nu/waaq
  Replies (14) Good night (3609) Bad night (1551)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants.... http://tfl.nu/17h8
  Replies (1) Good night (914) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong. http://tfl.nu/gy5i
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me. http://tfl.nu/c54s
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case. http://tfl.nu/43fa
  Replies (6) Good night (771) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad http://tfl.nu/nf3b
  Replies (4) Good night (222) Bad night (325)

Randomize