question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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