she smelled like a LAN party
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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