I faked an abortion last night.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
