you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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