if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
try to milk me bitch
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
