I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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