return my video game
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
