Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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