i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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