Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
