I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
