Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
