4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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