i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
