Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
